


Drowning

by cyncitymojo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Archangel Michael mentioned, Castiel Mentioned - Freeform, Episode: s14e09 The Spear, Gen, Jack Kline mentioned, POV Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester mentioned, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 15:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyncitymojo/pseuds/cyncitymojo
Summary: Original Prompt:  I wanted to create the image of Dean drowning, but wanted to leave it up to the author to decide whether he was literally, physically drowning or if it was something mental/emotional (overwhelmed, grief, etc?), or even something else entirely (a djinn/monster/illusion, who knows!).





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt that goes with the art piece located [here](https://red-b-rackham.livejournal.com/36750.html#t89486). It was part of the 2018 SPN Reverse Bang and the artist [Red](https://red-b-rackham.livejournal.com/)
> 
> As I mentioned, the art piece was almost a premonition, I felt it was ahead of its time. It inspired this work and I hope I did it justice.

One moment, he was staring down his adversary in disadvantage. He was poised to strike the final blow, to kill Michael. The next moment, he was floating. At first, Dean was unaware of where he was. He only knew it was too silent, too peaceful. He knew Michael hadn’t killed him. Slowly, he heard a familiar, yet murky voice speaking all too confidently. Dread surrounded him as he became all too aware of his location.

Dean was drowning… again. This time he felt his leaden limbs, and his furious attempts to move them, go unheeded. He was tireless in his righteous anger and determination to free himself from Michael’s clutches again. However, there was a new element that rendered his resolve innocuous and aborted his struggling.

_‘We should have gotten Jack and Garth outta there. I should’ve seen this coming. I should have listened to Sam; he knew something didn’t feel right. I should have told him the moment I felt something was off in my head.’_ He was relentless as he berated himself. 

_‘We knew it was a trap. I know damn good and well Sam wouldn’t have sidelined me without me telling him he should have. I should have benched myself. I should have known from the moment I got back there was a catch. I was just so glad to be free, to be back, I was hell-bent and determined not to think of what Michael’s endgame could possibly have been.’_

He could hear Michael taunting his family, his own voice altered with Michael’s sadistic personality along with the distorted sounds of being submerged. It devastated him to know that Michael had been playing them all. A hideously long end-game of chess when the hunters were busy thinking they were winning at checkers. Each small victory gave a dose of false confidence, especially to Dean.

_‘It shouldn’t have been possible! Consent is always required for an angel to possess a host,’_ he argued with himself, not really having a choice of conversation partners.

_‘This sonofabitch is not the Michael you know and is not of this universe. He looks for loopholes wherever he can find them. He conned you, plain and simple.’_

He heard Michael tell Sam and the others that he was gone, buried. Dean was right there, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t _breathe_. He desperately wanted to call out to his brother, knowing how hard this moment was for him more than anyone else. He’d seen the heartbreak and absolute terror in Sam’s eyes when they dispatched Lucifer and thought they’d won. _‘Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…’_ Shame was the very least of all the emotions running through Dean in a dull throb.

He tried to imagine spontaneous combustion, burning himself out as Mary had once done as a protective spirit. All of that, Mary’s death, John’s, Sam’s and his own all seemed an entire lifetime ago, and like such easy circumstances. Dean would end Michael’s tyranny and torture right now if the solution were to sacrifice himself. He knew it would never be that easy again and Sam would never heal from it. It was true, he had Jack and could make the best of his life being a damned good leader in the hunter’s network. But Sam and Dean both have made it crystal clear and finite that they could not, _would not_ , live without each other.

An Archangel, so much more powerful than their lower ranked brethren, proved to be worse than the vilest of demons. Angelic conniving usually either side-stepped or found loopholes to outright break every rule and protective restriction in order to get their own way. This entity from another universe basically discovered the advantages of free will, so he had no concept of rules at all.

Dean’s psyche manifested that he was under water the first time Michael attempted to silence him. This was what his mind went to again. Under water, choking forever, _drowning without dying._ This was how suffocating it felt, and it was the best description he could equate to the stifling feeling of being possessed against his will. The ‘strapped to a comet’ feeling Jimmy had expressed was nothing like this. The easy-going, bowed-out, hiatus that Cass had been given by Lucifer was a cake-walk compared to what Dean was once again suffering.

The only thing that came close to the helpless, useless, completely numb feeling that was being forced upon him was what Sam had no words to express, though he tried. The way Lucifer had him trapped within his anger while he impotently fought for control. Lucifer liked to have Sam cognizant at times, to taunt him. So, Sam was aware of time passing and knew how long he’d been captive before he finally took control and threw himself and Lucifer in the Cage. In direct contrast of their controlling natures, Michael held so tightly to Dean that the hunter really felt nothing external. He could see each atrocity Michael committed, but he was distanced from it as if he never knew exactly how long Michael had control.

The only way he’d known he had been separated from Sam for months was how much Sam had evolved. The man was a well-oiled machine on his own and had trained everyone around him to create a network of well organized, coordinated hunters. Dean was equal parts proud of Sam and regretful that he’d missed this growth in his brother.

Now, who knows what changes this would bring in the younger hunter. Dean knew that Sam would do anything if it meant saving him. He knew how close he was to morally and ethically questionable behavior the first time. He cannot imagine the things Sam would do now, especially with Michael’s arrogant assertion that Dean is so torn down he will not even try to resurface.

He screams from beneath the deep. Watches imagined bubbles burst forth from his gaping mouth. He cannot help this feeling this time because he blames only himself. He should have felt lungs burning by now, but he realizes that this is a figment of his human imagination. He cannot conceive any other vision in his mind to comprehend what it feels like to be a candle snuffed out by Michael’s iron grasp.

He hears the end of Michael’s boasting. His Bond villain speech should rightfully end with Kaia’s spear going through his lungs just in time after being mysteriously reassembled by a timely, demonic ally. One who understood finally what he stood to lose if he hadn’t taken a bet on the Winchesters time and time again. But that sacrifice was already made, Crowley is gone.

Dean visualizes his anger, frustration, hopelessness, and fear. He manifests his pride, faith, and love for his brother. He gathers them all together and lets that spark keep him aware and awake in his lagoon prison. When he gets out, he will make sure every emotion he has left incinerates Michael. There won’t even be a molecule for the Empty to claim. Sam will find a way out for him, even if he has to organize Hell and become the king he never wanted to. Once again, it looks like it is up to out of the box practices to save the world.

To save Dean from drowning.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I missed any serious tags, as this was something I was so unsure about since I really didn't see much that was horribly graphic or triggering.


End file.
